


OF APPLES AND GOBLINS

by GabrielleRose88



Category: Labyrinth (1986), Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Captive Goblins, Gen, Kid Outsmarts Adult, Resourceful Regina Mills, Sarcastic Jareth, Young Evil Queen | Regina Mills
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 20:27:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28694691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GabrielleRose88/pseuds/GabrielleRose88
Summary: 9-year-old Regina Mills cannot tolerate animal abuse, even if it is merely three little goblins teasing her horse. Intent on teaching the goblins a lesson, she imprisons them in her mother's dungeon cell. But what Regina doesn't know is that these goblins are the subjects of Jareth, Goblin King of the Labyrinth. And he will stop at nothing to get his goblins back and punish the one responsible for their disappearance. This is my original story taken from my FF account (although I had to manually reload the documents). Hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please read and review! I own NOTHING from LABYRINTH or ONCE UPON A TIME, except for the characters I created. Fans of both worlds should be able to tell which characters are mine.
Relationships: Alliances - Relationship, adversaries - Relationship
Kudos: 4





	OF APPLES AND GOBLINS

PART ONE

Nine-year-old Regina crouched atop the hayloft, careful to keep her body still. She had originally come here to the stables to saddle up her pony Cenzo for a ride along the estate only to discover the large barn doors open and none of the six horse grooms inside. For a moment, Regina had stood still in utter puzzlement. Why was no one tending to the horses? A heartbeat later, she received her answer when she heard several cackles followed by indignant neighs.  
Her curiosity aroused, Regina had easily slipped in through the stable doors and up one of the ladders without being seen. It did not even remotely enter her brain that what she was doing was reckless- she was, after all, only nine years old. Now she gazed down from her perch, intent on seeing what was causing the horses such annoyance and had caused the six horse grooms to neglect their duties. She found herself utterly speechless both with disbelief and rage. Down in the stall directly below her was Cenzo, his usual gentle demeanor somewhat soured by the antics of the three little horned creatures that were present. One was standing on the edge of the closed stall door in the act of trying to mount Cenzo but lost its balance, fell forward, and landed on the floor with a small thud. The two other creatures on the ground cackled at their fellow while simultaneously baiting the irritated horse. Cenzo in turn stomped his hooves and neighed in disgust. His neighs were echoed by his equine cousins in the adjoining stables…

Regina had had quite enough. She hated to see animals in torment, especially Cenzo, and found herself wishing that she had magic to teach these intruders a lesson. Her mother had always carefully guarded the secrets of her own magic, leaving Regina with absolutely no inkling of how magic was done. But Regina knew this much- magic was centered on the practitioner's emotions. It only made sense that the same logic applied to physical force as well. She tore her gaze away from Cenzo and the goblins (she recognized them as such based upon a picture she had seen in one of the tomes in her mother's library) and looked around her to see if there was anything that she could use to stop what she considered a violent act toward animals. Her eyes fell upon a small bucket containing three apples, and she felt the lower half of her face break into an unmistakably devious smile.  
Within the space of two heartbeats, the bucket was empty and lay haphazardly on its side. Regina took careful aim at the would-be goblin rider that was just getting to his feet and flung an apple down at him with all her might. Her effort was rewarded with the satisfying sight of the apple landing on the goblin's pointy head with a sharp CRACK! The creature did not even let out a cry of pain as he collapsed to the ground for a second time. Not wanting the remaining two goblins to express timely reactions to their comrade's plight, Regina employed the other apples in the same manner. Once she had descended to the stable's ground floor, she gingerly stepped around the unconscious goblins (inhaling an unpleasant whiff of drink and body stench as she did so) and spent a few moments soothing a stressed Cenzo. It was after she retrieved the apples from the floor that her eyes fell upon the equestrian lead hanging from its wall peg. And then a whole new idea formed in her mind.

Her mother was always telling Regina that she (Regina) needed to be more assertive, that she needed to be willing to "get her hands dirty." Although Regina was not quite certain what her mother meant by this, it would be nice to receive commendation for her actions instead of a lecture. Unfortunately, her parents were both away fulfilling some duties at her grandfather's court. Regina knew this was something she'd have to do herself. Quickly and without giving her plan a second thought, Regina attached the looped end of the lead through the three goblins' corded chokers (she held her breath so as not to breathe in their unwashed scent) and secured it to the upper half of the lead with one of her pins. She never knew how long it took her to haul the brigands out of the stables and into the estate's small dungeon without being caught by any of the estate's servants (particularly with the goblins' pungent odor). All she knew was that the trek involved a lot of doubling back and concealing the four of them beneath or behind whatever structures were present in the vicinity.  
Once she had deposited her lode in one of the three cells, Regina felt sure that her mother would commend her for her skill in dealing with the trespassers. She closed the doors behind her, knowing that there was no way for the goblins to escape from their cell. Its door and all the doors in the dungeon could only be sealed or unsealed by blood magic. In other words, only Regina (or Cora herself) could unlock the dungeon's cell doors either manually or by magic. Feeling immensely satisfied with herself, Regina left the dungeon and ventured off in search of a fresh sweet from the kitchens.

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If he had to listen to one more goblin's pathetic excuse for plastering chicken feathers all over his grand armoire, he would chuck the whole lot of them in the Bog of Eternal Stench and call it a night! Not for the first time, Jareth the Goblin King sat sprawled in his stone-carved throne (legs draped over one of the stone armrests and riding crop in hand) with a strong desire to knock goblin heads together.  
According to the latest roll call (a mind-numbing human ritual he had installed to keep track of his impish subjects), three of his youngest goblins were missing from the ranks and only a few hours remained until the curfew went into effect. Jareth did not much care where his minions spent the time they had outside of his court, but it was imperative that they returned to the Underground at a certain time. If they did not do so, he would have to mention it in his nightly quota to the High Council (something he did NOT look forward to doing) and explain just how it was that such a travesty had occurred on his watch. With his luck, they would sentence him to a vast load of paperwork likely to keep him occupied until the next millennium. He had only omitted the quota from his communication missives just once and the Council's response had been enough to compel him never to do so again. When he finally got his hands on the three truant goblins, Jareth promised himself that their punishment would be severe…if only he could come up with a punishment terrifying enough to prompt all his subjects to punctual attendance (apart from the usual threat involving the Bog of Eternal Stench).

He was interrupted in his thoughts by Carantok, his Goblin Captain of the Guard, clearing his throat. "Well, what have you to report?" Jareth demanded, trying to keep from snapping at the goblin. Carantok had somewhat more intelligence than most of his fellow goblins and his unswerving loyalty to Jareth had earned him the latter's gratitude in more than one difficult situation. Thus, Jareth did his best (rarely with success) to not take his frustration out on this steadfast of goblins.  
As always, Carantok stood at attention when addressing his monarch. "The huntin' parties can't find no sign of them anywhere, sire," he said regretfully, his deep voice not quite empty of nervousness. "The last time anyone saw those three, they was headin' along the borders of Misthaven."  
Jareth sat up straighter in his throne- he had not expected his goblins to wander that far. To the Otherworld, maybe. To the Kingdom of Opona, possibly. But not Misthaven- that was one of the realms magically barred to Underground goblins. "What in the Underground's name could they possibly hope to do there?" he wondered aloud, momentarily forgetting his irritation. From Jareth's limited knowledge of the place, Misthaven was full of all sorts of beings more than capable of doing great harm to his goblins. And while the idiotic little creatures were often more trouble than they were worth, they were his responsibility. Carantok, knowing from personal experience not to answer his monarch when the latter was voicing a rhetorical question, remained silent.

A few moments of silence followed before Jareth brought himself out of his musings and had to prompt his Captain to continue. "Did you think to send reinforcements out to Misthaven to confirm their whereabouts once it was clear that the three imbeciles had crossed the barrier?" the Goblin King demanded, the words coming out between almost-clenched teeth. Inwardly wishing he could deliver better news, Carantok nevertheless stood his ground and told his monarch the truth. "I tried to, but the realm's magical wall is too strong. Knocked my men back like cannonballs, it did. I dun even know how the three tykes even got across in the first place."  
Jareth's brain was racing. If the three goblins had made it (unhurt) through the magical barriers that separated Misthaven from the Underground, it could only be because one of the walls had a weak spot, probably unintentionally created by a novice spellcaster. Such weak spots opened and closed infrequently, making it difficult for average nonmagical individuals to come and go between the realms. Fortunately for Jareth, he was the Goblin King and as such possessed more than enough power to override the magical barriers. He did not at all like the idea of having to go and get back his goblins personally, but he hated even more the thought of dealing with the High Council. Its members would gladly seize upon any excuse to remove him from power and that was not something he wanted. Gods knew that they already looked upon him as less than fit to rule the Underground- thanks to his last runner and the whole affair with the Labyrinth. No, he could not think of her. He would not.

"Should I round up another goblin squad and have another go at them walls?" Carantok asked, again interrupting Jareth's thoughts and bringing him back to the present.

"No," said Jareth quietly. "I will deal with this problem myself."

END OF PART ONE

PART TWO

Pushing her dark hair out of her eyes, Regina smiled as she made her way back to her bedroom from her own private orchard with a few apples in her small purple satchel. It was on rare nights like these (when her mother was away) that she enjoyed spending a bit of time outside before her bedtime. The night sky looked especially beautiful with the stars shining like flickering crystals. As much as Regina enjoyed the daylight, there was something about her fondness for the night that she couldn't quite explain. For some reason, in the dark the impossible seemed possible. She could create new worlds in her mind's eye just by looking up at the stars and hearing the cool night air blow across her parents' estate. Now, though, she was feeling somewhat tired after having climbed a tree to get her potential nighttime snacks. She decided to sit down for a bit and settled down under the tree that was just around the corner from her bedroom window. As she leaned back against the tree, Regina felt at peace with the world and could happily have spent the night sleeping under the stars.

If not for the owl.

Regina had just started to doze off when a loud screech caused her to jump up in alarm. She looked up just in time to see something large and white flying directly at her, talons extended. Regina let out a shriek as she dove for the ground, rolling over in the grass in her efforts to get away from the owl's outstretched talons. Instead of hitting the tree like a regular bird might once it lost control, the owl merely swooped around and dove at Regina again. Now seriously enraged, Regina reached for her satchel. Wonderful, more apples wasted in the process of defending myself and the ones I love!  
Within seconds, an apple rested between her fingers before she hurled it at the oncoming strigiform with all her might. But either her aim was off or the wretched avian realized her intention and dodged the incoming object. Whatever the reason, the apple missed the owl and Regina found herself momentarily marveling at the creature's tricky avoidance of the projectile. So much so that she completely forgot that she was trying to run from the apparently insane owl and stood still. The admiration she felt at the creature's maneuverability faded when the owl flew directly at her. Regina let out another shriek before instinctively covering her head with her arms and dropping to the ground. The smell of grass filled her nostrils as she expected to feel talons scraping against her nightgown sleeves at any minute. When nothing happened, Regina slowly raised her head before getting up from the ground and looking around unsuccessfully for the owl. She at first thought she was alone again, but this theory was proved wrong when she turned to head in the direction leading back around the corner to her bedroom window.

Standing directly in her path was an individual she had never seen before- a tall, lean pale-skinned man with wild light-blonde hair. He wore long dark leggings that looked uncomfortably tight with matching boots and a long white poet's shirt with a brown leather jerkin over it. He might have looked like just an ordinary human, but his eyes and indicated otherwise. One eye was light brown while the other was pale blue, just as the owl's had been. With a shock, Regina realized that this man had not sent the owl. He was the owl.

"Going somewhere, little one?" the stranger asked quietly, a smirk exposing his pointed white teeth. Regina felt a surge of fear but her anger at having been ambushed by him in owl form overrode her common sense. That and the fact that, like any child, she hated being mocked by an adult.

"What do you want?" Regina snapped, trying to mimic the authoritarian tone her mother employed whenever a trespasser had been intercepted. Her voice cracked slightly at the end of the sentence and she felt her cheeks redden in embarrassment. She was consciously aware that this strange individual towered over her and found herself wishing she had the height to match his. "Answer me!"

Her opponent slowly bent down until he was on level with her. "You're quite bossy for a small girl. What I want would fill more scrolls than you could hope to read in your entire lifetime, O Bossy One. For starters, I'll settle for the return of the goblins you stole from me."

Regina frowned in confusion, her brown eyes widening. "I didn't steal- what are you talking about?"

The man narrowed his mismatching eyes. "Don't lie to me, little girl. Three of my goblins disappeared in this region and their absence from my court indicates that they were either killed or abducted. Due to the lack of goblin entrails decorating this estate, I can only conclude that they were kidnapped. Now, where…are…they?" 

He enunciated the last three words slowly and through gritted teeth.

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Jareth had once thought that Sarah was the most infuriating child he had ever come across, but the teenager had nothing on the girl now standing before him. She couldn't be more than nine or ten years of age, yet she had the audacity to speak to him- him- as though he was not the Goblin King, but a common street urchin caught stealing a loaf of bread! Apparently, mortal parents just weren't instilling manners in their offspring like they used to.

Before him stood the child, hands planted firmly on her small hips while a smoldering glare replaced the bewildered look on her face. "First of all," she hissed in a threatening tone to match his own, "don't call me 'little girl'. My name is Regina. Second, who are you to show up here and accuse me of stealing without proof? Third, I did not steal your little monsters. I locked them up for spooking my horse!" The girl had barely finished shouting the last few words when a thunderclap sounded overhead, causing the two to forget themselves entirely and jump in surprise. As raindrops started to pour down, Jareth tried to regain his composure before he lost his temper and did something rash (a feeling that had not come upon him for at least the last few centuries). "I suggest," he said icily, "that we take this discussion indoors like civilized creatures."

His opponent folded her arms across her chest and narrowed her eyes at him. "Fine," she gritted out before turning and striding across the estate lawn. A few seconds passed before she turned around to check that he was following her. "Lead the way, little Queen," Jareth said sarcastically. As he trailed behind his still-seething guide, the Goblin King spent several delightful minutes thinking of how he'd like to wring her neck for her arrogance and lack of decorum.

END OF PART TWO

PART THREE

The closest shelter turned out to be a small shed not far from the apple orchard. Although the door creaked slightly when Regina pushed it open, there were no indications that the place was in any way untidy. She inwardly felt relief at this because one of the very last things she wanted was a combination of mud and dust all over her rain-drenched nightgown. Her dark hair also stuck to her forehead, so she gathered it all into one hand while wringing it out with the other. Behind her, she could hear her assailant/companion muttering under his breath in a language she did not recognize as the sound of sloshed footsteps indicated a second presence in the shed. Shortly afterwards, the shed door slammed shut, leaving the room in near darkness. Before Regina could let out an indignant shriek at being enclosed in the dark with a possible assassin, a flame flicked somewhere to her left and almost immediately, the shed was partially revealed in semi light. It was light enough so that Regina could clearly see without bumping into anything, but at the same the illumination cast shadows on the walls.

Regina now turned her attention back to the individual she held responsible for ruining her evening. Once again, she assumed the position that she had seen her mother adopt whenever the latter was extremely furious- hands on hips, legs slightly apart- and resumed glaring at her assailant, registering in the back of her mind (with some envy) that his appearance looked exactly as it had been before the two had been caught in the downpour.

"Just who are you, anyway?" Regina demanded, watching the (for lack of a better word) man closely.

The other fixed her with an equally annoyed expression on his pale face. "Didn't your nursemaid ever tell you it is not wise to address one's elders in such a fashion, Little Queen? Anyway, I am Jareth, King of the Goblins and the Underground."

Of course, Regina knew about him. A few years back, she had frequently tried the patience of a governess who in turn had threatened to call "for the goblins to take you away." Although the threat was never carried out, the governess had filled Regina's head with gruesome tales of scary goblins who carried off naughty children in the night. "But the Goblin King is the worst of the lot," Regina's governess had assured her. "He takes the naughty children and turns them into his goblin slaves. If they do not behave, he uses their skins to make his armor."

While Regina did not quite believe that the Goblin King (if that were the man's identity) would use her skin to make his armor, she was in no hurry to test this theory. For the moment, she contented herself with childishly sticking out her tongue at the latter when he turned away from her to sink gracefully on a lone large crate that stood in the corner.

When he turned back to face his miniscule opponent, Jareth's face was inscrutable once more (though his tone indicated that he was still quite irritated). "Now," he said, arranging the fingers on both hands into a steeple, "release my goblins and I shall endeavor not to punish you for your insolent behavior."

Regina scowled at him, forgetting her momentarily silent vow not to push this man's buttons. But at this moment, she could care less about proper queenly etiquette. King or not, this individual was getting on her nerves. "Even if I could release your filthy little imps, what makes you think I would?" she demanded fiercely as she fixed him with a glare worthy of her mother. "They spooked my horse and made a mess of the stables- "

Jareth held up a hand, cutting off any further diatribes Regina was prepared to throw at him. "What do you mean, if you could release them? I believe I made it clear that I want my goblins back and I want them back now!" The impassivity had left his face and he now looked as irritable as Regina felt.  
Chaotic debate fueled the next twenty minutes, both making spirited albeit petulant arguments why he or she should do what the other wished. Regina accused Jareth of not properly supervising his "little monsters" and asserted that she was quite within her rights to punish the perpetrators however she chose. Jareth countered by informing Regina that, by holding his goblins hostage, she had initiated a war with him. He also said that she was an argumentative little brat and that she had no business talking like that to him, the Goblin King. At this, Regina lost her temper and hurled a small object at Jareth. He managed to avoid being hit and it was here that the two launched into a name-calling debacle that lasted until Regina had exhausted her limited list of insults (she was, after all, still a child and her vocabulary was still expanding).

By now, she was wholly sick of the Goblin King's presence and wanted nothing more than to return to her room and sink blissfully into her bed. But the stubborn, defiant aspect of her character refused to fully extinguish itself.

"You want your goblins?" Regina finally shot at Jareth. "Fine!"

With that, she stomped to the storage building's door and opened it. The Goblin King followed closely behind Regina as she led him to the estate's dungeon. The goblins were as she had left them in their cell- still passed out from their drunken exertions in the stables and snoring so abominably loud that it was a miracle none of the servants had been awakened by the din.

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The scowling little girl positioned herself atop the dungeon warden's desk as Jareth surveyed his imprisoned goblins closely. Apart from their usual disarrayed appearance, the goblins did not look as though they had suffered any physical harm. He also took note of the wooden trencher which contained the remains of what looked like a few loaves of bread and three mugs of what his enhanced olfactory senses told him was diluted wine.  
He turned back to face his companion, who folded her arms across her chest, a clear indication that she had read the surprise no doubt etched across his face. "I am not completely heartless, you see," Regina remarked in a tone that said otherwise.  
Inwardly, Jareth conceded she had a point (though there was no way he would ever voice this to her) and crossed over to where the tiny girl was sitting. "Well, Little Queen," he said as he surveyed her with barely-restrained irritation, "what do you intend to do about my goblins? I do have things to do, you know."

The girl looked remarkably like Sarah at that moment (stubborn as hell!) as she replied coldly, "I already told you, I can't release your goblins. Not until twenty-four hours have passed, anyway."  
Raising her hand to stifle a yawn, she added, "I'm now going back to bed, so you can wait until…" The rest of her sentence trailed away as Jareth stationed himself squarely in her way.

"You are not going anywhere until my goblins have been released," he said silkily. 

Regina scowled again and ducked around him, but he simply placed himself in her path once again. "You may as well give up, my dear," he said, the familiar smirk forming again across his face. "I've taken the liberty of placing my own magic upon the door, so you won't be able to leave here until you turn over the goblins to me. Yes, yes, I realize that you can't release them now- " (he held up a hand to ward off Regina's furious retort)- "so I'm afraid you are stuck here with me until the remainder of the twenty-four hours have gone."

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If Regina had felt irritation and fury before, now she felt pure rage. Rage enough to throw a tantrum the likes of which had never been seen. What gave this insufferable "man" the right to treat her in such a manner? She longed for the opportunity to again throw something at him but unfortunately nothing malleable could be found within the dungeon. And besides, her combative energy had been exhausted in the debate she had had with the Goblin King a small while ago.

Yet again, Regina longed for her mother's presence. Had Cora been here, she would never have taken such insolence from this (or any) individual. But her mother was not here and would not be for at least two or three more days, Regina grimly reminded herself yet again. The small princess realized that, once again, if she wanted to rid herself of something (or someone) displeasing to her, she would have to do it herself. Unfortunately, she did not feel that she had the strength to do so at this time. So, she sank down to the floor, her back propped up against the dungeon wall and using the remaining energy she had to glower at her nemesis.

Surprise hit Regina when Jareth joined her on the floor a few moments later. So far, this Goblin King seemed to be shattering every expectation she held where he was concerned. She had expected him to be cut from the same large-and-in-charge cloth as her mother Cora. While Jareth was indeed intimidating and bossy, he was also mercurial in his moods and seemed to switch from terrifying to merely annoying in less time than it took to muck a stall. Now, the Goblin King regarded her closely as he tilted his head slightly to one side. "You know, if you keep looking at me in that fashion, your face will stay that way," he remarked dryly.

Failing to come up with a snappy retort, Regina looked away from Jareth and concentrated her fierce gaze on the imprisoned goblins instead. But the sullen silence that followed (broken only by the goblins' snores) was too much for her to contend with for long without saying anything. Regina forgot her vow of silence and turned back to face Jareth, who was now sitting up straight with his legs bent in front of him. He was no longer looking at Regina but at a small croquet ball-sized glowing orb that he was turning over in his hands. As he turned the orb over and over, Regina saw glimpses of color reflect from within the depths. The whole effect was slightly hypnotic, and Regina felt a bit dizzy just from watching it. She decided to break the spell with a question, partly because she wanted to keep her wits about her and partly because she really wanted to know.

"Don't you ever punish them?"

Her question seemed to have caught the Goblin King off guard as much as herself. In his surprise at her question, Jareth almost dropped the orb but managed to catch it at the last moment. When he turned his gaze to Regina, she noticed that he wore a puzzled expression on his face. It made his mismatched eyes look even more bizarre.

"Your goblins," Regina prompted him in mild exasperation when he did not immediately answer her question. "Don't you ever punish your goblins when they do something they are not supposed to do?"

Jareth's eyes narrowed as he let the girl's words sink in. "Of course, I punish them," he responded in an annoyed tone to match Regina's. "The trouble is, Little Queen, that there are only so many times that the Bog of Eternal Stench will deign to hold all of the disobedient goblins in my domain."

Regina raised her eyebrows. "You never considered punishing them in a different way?"

Jareth was silent as he let the girl's words sink in. Then he looked at her with more interest. "What sort of 'different way?"

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It was indeed going to be a beautiful day, Regina reflected, smiling as she surveyed the scene before her. The three goblins she had caught terrorizing her pony were now mucking out said steed's stall. Every now and then she heard one of the goblins utter a curse as he tripped over or stepped on a lump of excrement. And this was only the first of several stables to clean…  
It had been a little difficult at first convincing the Goblin King to consider her proposal. At first, he had laughed when Regina had suggested that he punish his truant goblins by forcing them to clean out horse stalls. Regina had been less than amused by Jareth's reaction and had then coldly inquired whether he had a better alternative.

He had not, and so Regina's suggestion had become the goblins' decreed punishment.

While torment of creatures was not part of Regina's psychological makeup, she could not help but feel justified in reprimanding the goblins every time they faltered in their task. It served them right for spooking Cenzo, who was now standing off to the side by his feeding trough and indulging in some hay. Although his back was to the goblins, his ears were alert and twitching in the way that indicated he was listening to their footsteps and curses. Every now and then, he lazily kicked out one of his back legs, sending the goblins into paroxysms of panic (even though they were quite out of the pony's range).  
Life was indeed good, Regina thought blissfully and somewhere a certain Goblin King agreed with that sentiment.

THE END


End file.
